I feel like I’m always blabbing on about doing the thing I love and how I’ve found the thing that makes me happy blah blah blah … (sorry, not sorry).
Truthfully, I am doing the thing (or things, rather) that fulfils me, and I will be forever thanking my lucky stars that this is my life, but loving my job and wanting to work on my projects 24/7 has its problems too.
Right now I’m sick and holed up in bed.
My temperature is still a little high, and yet, I’m sipping lemon and ginger tea, watching the first 12x12 Picture Book Challenge book chat of the year with Renée LaTulippe and tapping away here with my thoughts on how I can’t slow down.
Part of it is probably the fact that I’m my own boss.
I don’t get paid sick leave, and I’m still working my way to a better place financially, so I feel like I need to keep pushing.
It’s not that I have a strict deadline or a project that I’m getting paid for that needs to be done right now. But I’m always thinking, okay, so what can I do with this little bit of time to keep moving my career forward?
I don’t know how to switch off or when it’s okay to switch off. My brain would say, never! And why would you want to switch off anyway because this is all so much fun and let’s just keep going forever and ever and ever and ever and you’ve never got enough time so let’s make the most of what looks like free time to me?! Sick? You’ll be right, mate.
The thoughts and ideas don’t stop (clearly).
While feverish through the night, lines for a new picture book came to me. They circled around and frustratingly stopped me from sleeping when I really needed sleep.
On the one hand, yay! I’ve been researching for this particular book for a while and trying to figure out my approach and angle and it’s starting to come together.
But on the other, what the actual f*ck, brain?!
I think part of it is also being a parent. When can parents ever really fully check out and stay in bed? No seriously, when can I?? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?!?
Honestly, my husband is great and he does all the things that need to be done, but he can’t always stop Mister 3 from bursting into my bedroom, doing a big sudden scream and slapping the end of the bed just for shits and giggs while I’m drooling and snoring my sick little self away.
How bad is it that I can’t switch off? Do I need to find an off button? Or is it okay that even when I’m sick I’m still finding the things I can manage that contribute to my work?
I don’t have an answer or a solution. Rather, I’m recognising that maybe, just maybe, being obsessive about your work isn’t always a good thing. Maybe I don’t need to fix anything. Maybe it just is what it is and this is how I function.
I have no idea, but in the midst of all this, while trying to help my daughter with something and having my knee painfully give way a few times could very well be my body forcing me to slow down (since I didn’t seem to listen to all the other health things that have been popping up, it’s throwing more at me – hardy-har-har).
But stuff that guy (that guy being my body), I’d love to hear your thoughts?
What do you do when you’re sick? Are you able to fully rest or does your rest include things that are still productive?
Some newsletter changes!
So since I started writing here at Substack, I’ve wanted to do a giveaway where I offer to critique or edit for one person each month.
But it seems that giving things away for free is hard! Who knew?! I actually get it, because over the years I’ve seen lots of competitions and giveaways that I just don’t enter.
Sometimes what’s being given away is not what I need or have any use for so I don’t enter. Other times, the process for entering is too much and I don’t have time for it.
Whatever the reason, giveaways don’t always work, and I’ve seen other authors trying to do similar things and having similar issues too. Partly it’s probably just trying to open with a bang before readership has been properly established. And I think that’s what I’ve done here.
I didn’t want to offer nothing and thought that my posts themselves wouldn’t be enough.
Well, here I am taking it back to basics, saying that my posts ARE enough, let’s take some of the pressure away by stopping the giveaways.
I hope you’ll stick around for more of my ramblings, since you obviously weren’t here for the giveaways.
Yanu (bye) for now!
P.S. If you listen to my very first audio attempt, you’ll hear a slammed door in the background, courtesy of my daughter, that comes not long after the line I read that includes the word ‘bang’ – not planned, but hey, it fits HAHA!
I acknowledge the Darkinyung people as the Traditional Custodians of the land on which I live and work, and I pay my respects to the Elders past and present.
Switching off is hard! I wish I could do it too, sometimes my brain just doesn't want to take a break when it needs to.